


Death Note Musical

by orphan_account



Category: Death Note
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, One Shot, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-22 22:01:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/614829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>L, Light, and Misa go to see a play about their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death Note Musical

**Author's Note:**

> I mostly got this idea from The Last Airbender, you know, that one episode where they all go see a play about their adventures and stuff. XD

It was a rather lazy afternoon. Misa was watching L and Light argue over which tennis team was better, when she grabbed a magazine and a certain two words caught her eye. Death Note. She hurriedly skimmed through the article. "Death Note," the article said, "is one of the most spectacular plays of the year! With a star cast, moving music, and stellar performances, you won't want to miss this one of a kind drama! Critics say…" The article went on for a few more paragraphs, but Misa had read enough. She was going to discreetly get up and throw the magazine away, but was interrupted by L.

"What's this?" L grabbed the magazine, stopping to look through the very same article Misa had been looking through moments before. Light looked over L's shoulder, quickly masking his shock.

"It's just some stupid play, Ryuzaki, we don't have time for this." Light hastily stepped in and reached for the magazine.

L took a step back, making sure the magazine was just out of Light's reach. A slightly mischievous smile lit up the detective's face when he noted Light's barely contained annoyance. "Aw, but don't you think we all deserve a little break? We've been working so hard…" L pouted.

Light sighed, deciding not to pursue the matter any further so as to avoid suspicion. "Fine. We'll go see your stupid play." He muttered.

"Yay." L cheered monotonously.

\--

Misa grabbed the two boys by the hand and dragged them towards three perfectly empty seats in the back. L stared around at the packed theater. He took a lollipop from his pocket and stuck it into his mouth, grinning like a schoolboy all the while. Light crossed his arms and refused to even so much as glance L's way. He was still obviously grumpy about being forced to come here. He ignored Misa, who had put her head on Light's shoulder and was trying to get him to put his arm around her. "You do realize you're not supposed to bring your own food here, right?" Light pointed to the sign.

"Beg pardon?" L lifted a hand to his ear, even though he had heard every word.

"I said-"

"Shh, the play's starting." L shushed Light, who grudgingly complied against his better judgment.

A teenager dressed in a suit walked out on stage. "That's Dark Imagay." Misa whispered, having perused one of the brochures that had been handed out earlier. Light narrowed his eyes at the actor's striking resemblance to himself.

"OMG, I'm like, sooo borrreeedddd…" Dark flailed his arms and flipped his shiny, dark locks of glory. Suddenly, another actor, wearing one heart earring and covered in hideous skeleton-like clothes and makeup came out.

"I'm the shinigami Apple Jacks, hyuk hyuk. Here, take this." Apple Jacks, the god of death, tossed a notebook at Dark.

"Death Note…As in, a notebook of death?" Dark asked, glaring at the cover of the notebook suspiciously.

"Yep. Have fun. I'd tell you how to use it and all, but there's wayyy too many rules for me to bother with that. Later!" Apple Jacks waved and then took off for the sky- er, backstage.

Dark laughed evilly. "I'll kill all the bitches in the world! Bitches love death. And I…I will be the pimp of the new world!"

Dramatic music sounded out, and then the curtains closed, only to reopen moments later. "Dark kinda reminds me of you, Light." Misa commented. Light stared straight ahead and refused to say anything.

The next scene introduced the character opposing Dark, known as O. At the moment, the obese detective O was making a passionate speech about justice in between bites of cookie dough, while his helpers, known as the TSS (Totally Secret Spies) watched on in awe.

"I guess that's you, Ryuzaki." Light chuckled and turned his head in the hopes that L's expression would be worth him stopping the shunning treatment. Instead of horror, L's expression was one of pure delight.

"He's perfect!" L cried, shrinking back into his seat when everyone in the room turned around to shush him. "I only wish I could be that beautiful…" L murmured, a lone tear making its way down his face. Light facepalmed.

Loud music erupted from the speakers and both O and Dark started singing about justice and whatnot from opposite sides of the stage. O rolled around, his face turning red from exerting himself so much while Dark danced about, swaying his hips, winking at swooning girls, and belting out deep, meaningful stanzas between mouthfuls of potato chips, which Dark was eating quite sexily, I might add.

"I didn't know that this was gonna be a musical." Light hissed, shielding his poor ear drums from the unbearably catchy music and thunderous applause. Misa shrugged.

A girl dressed modestly in nothing but white strode out on stage. "I believe I am in love with Dark. Let us help him eliminate that foul fiend O, Femme." The girl, Kisa Anemone, stated smartly to her shinigami Femme.

"Hell yesh!" Femme did a loop-de-loop and shook her emo bangs out of her face before writing in big words in her Death Note for all to see: O Olliet dies right now. The whole audience leaned in, gasping in horror when they read the dreaded words. Some of the girls even started crying. In the next scene, just as O was about to reach a groundbreaking conclusion, he clutched his throat and then flopped over onto his back, never to rise again. An intermission was called, and groups of people rushed to the bathrooms, most likely to go cry their eyes out in private.

Light groaned. "Don't tell me that girl was supposed to be portraying you…"

"I know, right? That was not a very convincing performance at all! Misa-Misa's a lot smarter than that!" Misa kicked the seat in front of her childishly.

"Right…" L rolled his eyes.

The trio sat there, bored to death, when the conversation between two Yaoi fangirls caught their attention. "I think O and Dark would be like, sooo hot together."

"Oh-em-gee, like totally. O's def seme, though." Yaoi fangirl #2 nodded.

"Yeah, def." Yaoi fangirl #1 voiced her agreement. Both of their voices soon faded away into the distance as they walked farther and farther away.

"We shall never speak of this again." L said once the two girls were out of sight.

"Agreed." Light replied in a strangled voice, not sure whether he wanted to murder L now or he wanted the floor to just swallow him up. Misa squirmed in her chair uncomfortably.

The next scene came as a somewhat pleasant distraction, at least for L. The instant O's three successors, Far, Violence, and Bob were introduced, L started cracking up. Everyone was giving him funny looks, not quite sure what he was finding so amusing, but L couldn't help it. Far was dressed in black, completely Goth, and was listening to screamo music. "Imma just hang here until everyone dies before confronting Dark, yo." He sang, addressing his own little following, also called TSS, because Far's a copycat.

"Bob, honey, I'm ready for our date!" Violence waltzed out the door in a sparkly pink ball gown, laughing along with Bob as he cracked some lame joke.

"And then I told those losers at GameStop, 'but I hate video games!' and they were all like, 'well screw you!' Ahahahaha!" Bob laughed at his own…Well, you couldn't really call it a joke. Bob and Violence got into their car and began driving, but unfortunately got into a huge accident with Bakada and Delete-Man, who were followers and close friends of Dark. There were no survivors.

"Noooo!" Dark wailed when he heard the news, the fangirls wailing right along with him when Dark began tearing out chunks of his gloriously silky hair. "I'm now gonna have to like, kill Far or something!" Determined, Dark ran over to Far's house and unplugged his screamo music, smirking at Far triumphantly all the while. "It's over, Far."

"ddkf;dj;fj;fj;f I'm melting…" Far screamed as he began the melting process.

"Kyahahahaha, die fool, die!" Dark laughed evilly. Again. Dark even managed to kill all the members of the TSS by tricking them into slipping on melted Far and then dying. Dark grinned. "I win! I am the pimp of the new world!" And with that, the curtains closed. Applause was immediate and all of the actors and actresses went back out on stage to bow and give tearful speeches of how they never thought they'd make it this far. L, Light, and Misa just sat there in stunned silence, not quite sure what to think anymore.

L finally broke the silence. "Cake?"

Light quickly nodded his head and stood up, forcing Misa to stand as well. "Yes, cake. Now." He urged everyone along to the nearest cafe; even Misa didn't protest at the thought of those calorie filled treats.

And that is the tale of how once more, cake saves the day.

**Author's Note:**

> This came out a lot crackier than I had thought it would. xD


End file.
